How To Figure Out If You Are Gay

Photo by Brian Kyed on Unsplash

I once read that if you are googling how to figure out if you are gay…you probably already know, bb.

And that’s not 100% untrue. It was true for me. The several weeks of intense gay panic, “Could this be true??!” led to me meditating and yogaing and of course, googling for anything I could find. I took quizzes, I journaled, I even prayed once I think? That’s a little blurry, especially as an atheist. But in time, I realized that what I was doing was trying to reconcile in my brain everything that I knew about myself up until that point and realizing that I had it all wrong. Well, mostly wrong, I’ll give myself some credit, I identified as bi afterall.

You, though, are likely still on your journey of self discovery, and ya grrl is here to help. Here is the only quiz you will need to discover if you are gay. Take it and then do what you need to do to reflect. Go for a super long solo hike. Watch a shit-ton of gay marriage proposals on YouTube. Have a long talk with a therapist or a trusted friend – extra smart if this friend is also gay or queer.
Queer we go…

  1. Are you googling whether or not you are gay because you are afraid you are? Or are you looking for other folks’ stories? Why are you searching? Ask yourself that first. Got it? At least somewhat? Good. That’s all anyone ever has really, a somewhat grasp.
  2. Have you ever enjoyed sex with the opposite sex? Yes? Not really? Throw this into the mix but don’t put too much stock in it. You may have been having the wrong sex with the wrong person, or if you did enjoy it, you may enjoy sex with the other sex even more. Or equally – BI PEOPLE EXIST, CHRISTINA, AND/OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.
  3. What does being gay mean to you? I ask you this, dear quiz taker, as you need to understand that being a lesbian does not mean just staying home all day with your cats, in your comfy pants. Ok, it does, but it’s most about the vaginas. Being a gay dude isn’t mostly about clubbing it up and dressing amazingly. I mean, it kinda is, ok stereotypes are weird. The point is, if you cannot imagine yourself having sex with the sex in question – it is unlikely you are gay.
    DISCLAIMER: You could be a top or a bottom or a switch. You might not like the idea of going down on a woman, but really like the idea of her going down on you. That’s ok. You still could be gay.
  4. Do you like cats? Are you currently wearing flannel and/or a beanie? Do you have a cat named Beanie? Stereotypes yet again, however, look at yourself for a moment. Mmmhmm. Yep. Factor it in!
  5. What do you feel when you imagine holding someone’s hand of the sex in question? If you think of a lady’s hand in yours and you get that sort of electric shock through your body? That’s pretty gay, man.
  6. Who is the celeb you would most like to bang? Remember that if you have not found a celebrity of the sex in question that you dig, keep searching. I did not realize my proclivity toward sporty brunettes until I looked back and remembered Sporty Spice SUPER fondly.
  7. Lastly, if your future could look any way, what would that be? Think, think, think. Picture it. Good. Now who is there with you? Be real.

Answer these questions. Tally them up. There are no points, no right or wrong answers. But if you are wearing a beanie and working on your laptop around your cat, on a Saturday afternoon, dreaming of Kate McKinnon, I mean. Lez be honest with ourselves. I love you. And it’s going to be okay, grrl.

When did you realize you were super gay? Or not gay? Or confirm what your sexuality is? Tell us below. Do it for the baby dykes! ❤

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